Even with society becoming more accepting of single mothers and career-oriented parents, at their core, mothers have a hard time getting a promotion due to their work situation. It’s not that they are incapable of handling more responsibilities; sometimes, it’s because they are afraid of it taking time away from their family. When mothers return from maternal leave, they come back feeling more dedicated to their job. However, with months to catch up on, there is that feeling that they have missed so much and have to work twice as hard to get back on track.
That’s when the office is just a few minutes away. What more if the promotion offered is in a different state?
The Way We Look at Parental Roles
When a house has two parents, it’s not the father that is judged when the children are always sick, or the household is a mess. It’s ingrained in everyone to think that it’s the mother’s job to see to their children’s well-being first, and while it’s their job as a parent, it’s not solely their responsibility if they have a partner. A mother wants the best for her children, and she might put pressure on herself on top of the pressure exerted on her by other people.
As a partner, it’s your job to share the load that your wife is bearing on her own. She might consider a promotion in a different state, mostly because the salary will help with finances, but chances are, she will not decide to do it on her own. Show your support in little things, such as looking up long-distance van lines that can assist with the situation. Make plans about visiting her on her new location so that she will not feel disconnected with the family.
The Problem with Marrying Young
It’s a fairy tale dream to marry your high school sweetheart. You’ve known your wife forever, and you think this means that you can tell whether she’s happy or not. However, people change as they grow up, and if you married young, you might not have been able to explore the world as individuals. Your idea of your wife might be stuck in how you knew her when she was younger. Sure, you work well as a couple, but what about your happiness? She might not admit that she has dreams that she can’t fulfill because she has to take care of the family. She might not think that she’s missing out, but watch how she acts around her friends who have more successful careers than her.
Your support is crucial to her. Tell her that she can still be herself without worrying that the family will fall apart. You’re there to hold down the fort while she works on something that makes her feel fulfilled. At the very least, let her try. If she decides one day that she’d rather stay at home and take care of the kids, it’s a decision she made herself, and it will not make her sad, thinking that she ran out of choices.
A strong, empowered woman can achieve great things. If you love her and want her to be happy, don’t let the family get in the way of her dreams. Be her support system, and remember that in sickness and in health, you two should be partners. In other words, she doesn’t have to take care of everything on her own.